Ah, red carpets. You torment me so. Acres of cleavage, sleeveless gowns, up-dos and skin real estate frankly begging to be accented with jewels.

And … nothing.

Is Hollywood afraid of jewellery? More interested in “who are you wearing?” rather than, “how are you accessorizing it?”

Once again, the red carpet appears to be a bit of a wasteland, or just home of some rather puzzling choices. So far, I’ve seen only two ladies wearing anything even remotely worth commenting on. (I know. It’s early yet. There’s likely oodles more disappointment to come! The good news: Miley Cyrus and her pasties may still yet be in Las Vegas and far from the Emmy fray.)

To wit … Maria Menounos in an outfit that would have looked right at home on Joan Collins at the height of her Dynasty days. There’s nothing wrong with it, she looks perfectly lovely, and the Lorraine Schwartz jewellery is definitely gala-worthy. It just, well, makes me kind of yawn. And think of beauty pageants.

Modern Family’s Sarah Hyland also tapped Schwartz for her jewellery. Love the emeralds. The dress … not so much, but big points for the earrings, ring and bracelet, even if the entire effect is a bit Addams Family rather than royal family.