Yes, this is an open plea to the stylish of Los Angeles. Please hire me (or someone who knows how to work jewellery into an outfit) to put some glitter into your glam events.

I just spent the past half hour looking at photos of Oscar red carpet arrivals. Correction: enlarging photos, because you had to make them huge to see most any kind of jewellery being worn. Mostly, there wasn’t much. And when there was, well, is it wrong of me to bitch that if someone actually made the effort to wear a dazzling emerald (or is that jade?) and diamond necklace they paired it with the wrong neckline? Yes, Amy Adams, I’m looking at you. Stunning necklace and bracelet, love the contrast of the green against the blue sequins. But for the love of all that’s accessory worthy, a neckline that high doesn’t need a necklace like that.

I think it’s wrong that Maria Menounos and Cheryl Hines had (so far) the most eye catching accessories. And I did love Amy Adams’s pieces. Just not with that dress.

Sandra Bullock looks spectacular no matter what. But can you reimagine this outfit with a ruby and diamond collar, a diamond sautoir, or killer emerald earrings like the ones Angelina Jolie wore to such great effect?